Oh my, what a topic.
Potty training is a tough one. To be pretty honest I’ve found it one of the hardest parts of parenting (except for the four months sleep regression, but I’ve almost forgotten about that one…almost).
Our potty training journey with Ted began last summer when he was two and a half. I wasn’t one of those eager beaver Mama’s who are keen to ditch the nappies asap. In fact, I was the complete opposite. I was ready to keep Ted contained for a while longer, but he seemed ready, his nursery said he was ready and we had all the gear (one pack of tiny pants) so I thought, lets go for it.
Long story short (no one wants to hear the ins and outs of the first two sh*tty weeks. Lets just say maybe don’t go to a day festival when your toddler is on day two of using a potty) we thought we had it nailed. Success you might say! That’s what I thought too. I was feeling pretty smug with my parenting skills and how well Ted had responded to it all. I thought it was done and dusted. I even started leaving his spare pair of pants and trousers at home, like an actual MUG (said in a Danny Dyer voice).
But then came the potty training regression.
Did I know this was a thing?
No.
Was I prepared for it?
Also, no.
Things started going down the crapper when Ted got chicken pox. The poor little guy was so unwell, all toilet etiquette went out the window. And who can blame him really. Once he was over the worst I kinda assumed that all would right itself again.
It didn’t.
All I can say is potty training in the first instance is hard but going back to those sh*tty times. Man, that’s tough. We had to start all over again, and this time Ted didn’t wanna play ball.
After weeks of what seemed like endless poo pants, I feel like we were finally back on track. I think how you approach potty training really depends on your kid and their personality. For Ted, it’s a marathon not a sprint. And bribery definitely works.
Here’s a couple of things that I’ve learnt on our journey through brown town.
1) Everyone and their Grandma will tell you to start potty training in the summer. I (for once) took some advice and we initially started with Ted in June. Now it’s winter I can really see why it makes a difference. Winter means more clothes to take off. There’s a strong chance they’ll be wearing an all in one suit and it’ll be covered head to toe in sand/rain/mud. Now that really is an experience in a public toilet.
2) One thing that I definitely slacked on was remembering to actually take Ted to the toilet. I know that sounds obvious, but as Ted got more familiar with using the loo I kinda assumed that he’d tell me when he needed to go. This definitely wasn’t the case. We now have a set routine of taking him as soon as he gets up, after he’s eaten a meal, then right before bed. If we’re out and about, I’ll also take him with me whenever I go or before we leave.
3) The FOMO. This is a massive one. For Ted, going to the toilet just isn’t up there with important things to do. He’d much rather wee in his pants and keep playing with his Lego. It’s quite hard as an adult to imagine why you’d choose that option, but for toddlers it’s really a no brainer. Most of the time I know that Ted needs the toilet and he’s holding it in, but he puts it off to the very last minute. And I mean it when I say the actual last minute, like touching cloth (too much?).
A big deal breaker for us was breaking through the thought that he was going to somehow miss out if he went to the toilet. To make it a bit easier I try and turn it into a game, like who can get up the stairs to the toilet the fastest? This one seems to work particularly well if Daddy’s at home. If we’re out and about I set out a plan and let him know. We’ll go to the toilet, then we can sit down and have a snack. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t (toddler life, riiight?). Sometimes he just tells me flat out ‘No!’ that he doesn’t need the toilet, and ya know what (most) of the times he’s right so I just go with it.
4) A reward system (or more commonly known as bribery). This worked well for us when we first started potty training, especially when it came to Number 2’s. Our system was that a wee got x 1 sticker and a poo x 2. Once we got to 20 stickers we could go to his fave toyshop and choose a small toy. After a while though, the sticker chart lost its charm and Ted just wasn’t that bothered. I knew it was time to end it when we had reached his target and told him we were off to buy a new pack of Lego. 10 minutes later we had a code brown situation. A coincidence...maybe. But I felt like the sticker system had run its course.
5) Chilling the fudge out. This one took me a while, especially when we hit the regression. I’ve read a lot of blogs on potty training and what to do when regression hits. One point that kept coming up was keeping calm and not stressing. It sounds like an easy thing to do, but when it’s your birthday and your toddler has looked you dead in the eye and told you that he doesn’t need a poo but then proceded to do a massive poo pants in a church café…FOR THE SECOND TIME. Then yeah, it’s hard to keep a cool head.
In the grand scheme of things though, the situations that are hella stressful at the time, when looking back they ain’t actually so bad and are sometimes really funny. A big one for us was when I chucked Ted’s dirty pants from nursery into the washing machine without checking them. ROOKIE MISTAKE. A poo covered washing machine is not fun. But we can laugh about these things now! I mean, I can. My husband probably can’t, he had to clean it up. He’s scarred for life.
Dealing with sh*tty pants is frustrating, time consuming and actually pretty annoying…but also you’re dealing with a toddler. I had to keep telling myself that Ted’s only three and actually he’s doing really well. We all have set backs, we all feel ill, we all have accidents (Ted loves it when I say that everyone has had poo pants at some point). The best thing I did to help our potty training along was to take a step back, actually listen to Ted and change the way I spoke (and felt) about it. All kids are different and learn at their own pace and in their own way.
Stay strong parents, we can do it!
Much love,
Lucy xx
P.S Tell me about your potty training experiences, I wanna know! Or maybe the best way to remove stains from tiny pairs of pants.